This week in our class we discussed rejection. The emotions of rejection, how we deal with rejection, and what do we need to consider when we reject someone or something. We showed a clip of the famous show Friends when Gunther embarrassedly tell Rachel that he loves her and wants her to stay in New York with him instead of going over to Paris. It is funny clip because Gunther barely knows Rachel and you know her rejection is coming. But let us dissect this interaction. First, what is Gunther going through before even asking Rachel to stay with him? He has feelings for this woman who he finds a special connection with from their time working together and interacting at the coffee shop. He has probably wanted to tell her these feelings for some time, but something has always prevented him from doing so, until now when Rachel may no longer be in his life completely. He gets enough courage to say how he feels, making himself completely vulnerable to her. He gets enough courage to tell the one person he cares most about how much he loves her. If the relationship had more depth it might have been an amazing story, but unfortunately for our favorite blond coffee shop manager, his feelings were not mutual with Rachel.

Now let us dissect what happens after Rachel says no to Gunther’s love. He is heartbroken, alone, and completely vulnerable but most of all he is embarrassed and crushed. His heart begins to beat fast and biologically his body is acting like this is a dangerous situation because he is, so heart broken. Any impulsive decision he would make at that time, would not be a good one. A desperate person is a dangerous person and luckily for everyone in the coffeeshop he remained calm. That biological experience is not that different when we experience rejection in every part of life. When you get rejected by a college or an employer, you are crushed. Your heartbeat begins to race, your hands get sweaty and you are eager to do something impulsive. It is a reaction to the stress of rejection. But we can look to Gunther as a model of knowing there is light to come, and by remaining calm his life will carry on without Rachel but without any regret.

How about Rachel? As the rejector, what do you think she was thinking about when giving the tough news to her friend and old coworker? She can see by his voice tone and his mannerism that this conversation meant a lot to him and took a lot out of him. She remains calm even though she could of just ran away from the situation. She was polite and expressed how much their friendship meant to her and how Gunther made an impact on her life. She was compelled to make sure Gunther felt valued even though she had difficult news to tell him. I think we all need to consider how the person being rejected will take the news when being the rejector. Rejection is a part of life, sometimes too often in life. But if we remain clam, collect our thoughts we will make it through to the next step of our life path. 

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